For a long time, I thought this about Imo:
He relies on Centrelink.
He just doesn’t want to work.
To be honest,
I was trying to think that.
But after unpacking everything, I realized something uncomfortable:
The problem wasn’t Imo.
It wasn’t Centrelink either.
It was the assumptions I brought with me.
Assumption 1: Debt determines how you work
This part is simple, and factual.
When you have debt:
- repayments come first
- work becomes obligation, not choice
- saying “no” to a job is almost impossible
When you don’t have debt:
- living costs stay low
- you can choose when, how, and with whom you work
- working “only as much as needed” becomes realistic
Imo doesn’t avoid work.
He avoids debt.
That single condition changes everything.
Assumption 2: Using welfare equals laziness
I have a friend’s Aussie husband who hates Centrelink.
Not casually — ideologically.
He’s never used it.
Refuses it on principle.
Honestly, I respect that strength.
But here’s what happened quietly inside me:
“Not using welfare = strong”
“Using welfare = something to feel ashamed of”
That comparison lit up my shame.
The truth is simpler.
Centrelink isn’t a moral test.
It’s not a personality trait.
It’s just a system designed to stabilize life.
I was the one turning it into a judgment.
Assumption 3: I was running Japanese rules in an Australian reality
This one hurt the most.
- Men should work full-time
- Using systems is shameful
- Rest equals laziness
- Struggle equals virtue
These ideas shaped how I judged myself.
But Australia runs on different defaults:
- systems are expected
- work is flexible
- men working less isn’t unusual
Different assumptions create different choices.
I was measuring my life with the wrong ruler.
What I see clearly now
Imo isn’t “dependent on Centrelink.”
He chose a debt-free structure that gives him freedom over his work.
What weighed on me wasn’t the system —
it was the borrowed shame attached to it.
Conclusion
Reality wasn’t complicated.
My assumptions were.
Once I stepped outside them,
everything became simple.
Now I stand in the middle — not judging, not idealizing —
just making ordinary people’s realities visible.
That’s my place.
And it finally feels right.
#Centrelink
#Assumptions
#DebtFreeLiving
#WorkChoices
#AyaStory
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